We will read deathwishcoffee.com the way ChatGPT and Perplexity do. About three minutes, and nothing to install.
deathwishcoffee.com
ChatGPT
Claude
Gemini
Perplexity
Not a checklist we invented. This is the sequence a shopping assistant actually walks when it meets a store it has never seen — reach it, read it, understand the catalogue, time it, then look for it.
Some checks have to load your live store the way a shopper’s browser does.
An assistant can only recommend a product it can read and understand.
Missing descriptions, prices and identifiers make a product unrecommendable.
Google ranks slow sites lower and buyers leave them sooner.
AI retrieval reads Google page one — search and AI are one problem, not two.
When a shopper asks for what you sell, someone gets named. This is whether it is you.
01
No install, no plugin, no account, no access to your admin. Everything we read, an assistant could read.
02
Six passes, in the order an agent would make them, showing the actual bytes your store returned at each one.
03
What is already working, what is not, and what we could not check — with the evidence beside each line.
A check we could not run is not a failure
Anything we could not measure is named as a gap and left out of the arithmetic. A store below Google’s reporting threshold has no field speed data — that is a statement about sample size, not about your store being slow.
Every number comes with the thing it was read from
Your own robots.txt, your own sitemap, the actual response headers, the products an agent actually receives. Nothing on the report is a drawing of a claim.
Yes, and there is nothing to install. You give us a domain and we read your store from the outside, exactly the way an assistant does.
No. The audit runs on any store. WooCommerce and Shopify get more detail because we can read their catalogues directly — and the report always says which parts we could not check.
Around two to three minutes. You watch each pass as it lands rather than staring at a spinner.
We read public pages — the same ones a crawler fetches. There is no login, no cookie and no access to your admin at any point.
The report separates three things on purpose: what passed, what failed, and what we could not measure. A check we could not run is never counted against you, and there is no single score to inflate.
Three minutes, no install, and the evidence beside every line.